The art of meeting and attracting women is a valuable skillset.  However its usefulness might be limited, if you cannot in fact keep women around in your life.  As the art of maintaining a relationship is another skillset that needs to be developed.  Which can only be honed through time and practice.  Oftentimes a man may be good at one skill and not the other.

There does come a time in the life of most men when they want to have a long standing relationship with a woman.  There is something to be said about building a relationship based on mutual love and respect.  Regardless of how many women you have in abundance on a superficial level.  You might find yourself feeling empty without a given depth to your relationships.  As most healthy minded people have been raised out of place of love and human connection with their family.  A place where unconditional love and acceptance is where we find our sense of belonging.

Building relationships can always be a life expanding experience.  Whether you are seeking a monogamous or polyamorous open relationship.  However relationships of all types take work.  Just like you may have worked on your ability to initially meet and attract women.  But most things worth having are worth working for.

While the art of maintaining relationships doesn’t come overnight, here a few simple tips to help you along the way :

Filter your Anger : Be careful of how you express your anger.  As once you say things in an angry tone, it’s extremely difficult to take it back as the damage has already been done.  Often we say things we don’t really mean when we are angry.  When the Anger runs out, we realize we may have said something very destructive.  It’s a good idea to be able to take a time out if an argument is getting too heated.  Resuming the discussion at a later point when there has been a cool off period.  That time out necessary can be really dependant on the person.  For some the timeout could be 5 minutes, 2 hours or 1 day.  Either way it’s usually not constructive to have a discussion when emotions are escalated and hostile

When articulating how you feel, try not to point fingers at the other person.  Making it more of a “description” of how you feel from a third person point of view versus an accusation.  Don’t assume that the person had any intents with how they ultimately made you feel.  It also helps to preface by explaining how you feel with softeners that show empathy.  Such as “I understand you probably didn’t mean to make me feel this way.  But this is what happened…”

Monthly Meetings : Most men operate on the principal that if nothing is being vocalized then things are probably all okay.  However with women when they usually blow up it tends to be based on a number items that have accumulated over time.  Which they have shelved and put on the backburner in the past to initially keep the peace.  And one given act on a given day seems to create an emotional response of epic proportions that seems out of context.

To keep from having these huge accumulated blow ups, it helps to have monthly check ins every month.  This is a way of giving the other person designated time to express themselves of things they liked and both disliked.  Try to listen in an non judgemental way and this is meant for BOTH parties to get on the same page.  Discussing where they would like the relationship to improve or relay what they are happy with.  This helps in the process of not having issues bottle up and address things as they come.  Not months after the fact when there is an accumulated tension.  It might seem mechanical at first, but eventually it becomes a habit and a good routine.

Put yourself in their shoes : This is a life skill that always takes allot of work.  Be able to listen to someone without feeling the need to interrupt them.  Until the point where they feel they have nothing left to say.  This makes someone feel fully listened to.  Even if you have points to add or disagree give them the floor with open ears.  Summarize what they are saying after they speak with “So that made you feel like…”.  It helps also to visualize yourself in those same circumstances.  Often you will find most people will feel pretty similar feelings when put in certain circumstances.  Although people might have differences in how they handle those feelings and react.  But it helps to be able to put themselves in their place.

Relationships have many parallels in the different areas which they are employed.  Whether they are romantic relationships, relationships with your boss or with your business clients.  It’s a lifelong skill in learning how to be able to work with people on a better level.  Ultimately nobody lives in a vacuum and we need other people.  Even the art of attraction works on the basis of other people.  So we need to open our eyes and ears up to being open to others.  As ultimately the art of relationships is the art of empathy.