Setting your profile is one of the first steps in getting involved with online dating.  The protocol on this depends on the type of website you are on.  Whereas some sites like Match.com and Eharmony.com take you through a series of questionnaires.  Yet the basis for all sites are the same.  One way or the other they consist of pictures and your written profile.

Pictures in Online Dating

First off your pictures should be representative of who you are today.  Forget about what you looked like yesterday.  Whether you had more hair, less bodyfat or better skin.  You want to depict yourself accurately since you eventually have to meet and live up to that image.  It can be extremely embarrassing if you meet and don’t look like your pictures.  As this is also known as catfishing. It’s not likely that you will get a second date after that.

Your pictures should be a mixture of ones that show your face clearly and full body.  So the potential partner can see the whole you.  Showing only facial shots can be particularly suspicious.  As it may indicate you are not comfortable with your body.  This is important whether you are skinny, short, overweight or muscular.  You need to like the real you for someone else to like it.

Also pictures where you are with other people and smiling helps.  That shows that you are a social being and know how to build good relationships.  It also shows that you in fact HAVE friends.  Which might not be the case online.  Since there is really no reference point about the person.

It might not hurt either to have your pictures taken by a professional photographer.  As that helps to put you in your best light, while still naturally representing yourself.  As a good photographer knows how to bring out the best in peoples look.  A little bit of post processing on the photos is okay.  But not too much Photoshop, since that takes away from who you really are.

There are a couple areas of controversy on some uses of pictures.  Particularly if you use pictures that show a little bit of skin or you with other women.  This can be a little risque, but can work well if presented in the right way.  Might be worth it do an experiment by trying in a with and without scenario and see if your response rate improves.

For pictures that show a little bit of skin, you should only do this if you are in really good shape.  Some women might consider this a little too “try-hard”.  However this might be pulled off well, if it is done naturally without looking like too much effort is made.  Might be better to take a picture where you wearing fitted clothing to show your physique.  Without looking like you are just depending on your six pack as your only quality.

Pictures with you and another woman can work, but this needs to be done very carefully.  Whether this is a picture of you and an ex or female friend, it does indicate a degree of popularity.  Counterintuively women generally find a man more attractive when he has been selected by other women.  However you do want to be careful with this, as it can send out the wrong message.  Indicating that you might not in fact be over your ex.  So it’s better to put this as a secondary picture versus your primary and blur the face if possible.  Making sure there are other interesting things in the picture, such as the scenery from your trip to Rome.  The devil is in the details with this, so again do some split testing.

Written profile

The reality is most of the time your written profile won’t be read.  Which is why an app like Tinder is so popular.  Since Tinder cuts to the chase and focuses more on looks.  The average women usually gets flooded with online messages.  So it usually the guys picture that stands out.  Which after a couple interactions she might feel urged to read more about you.

Like most things in life, Men usually end up saying too much.  Opening their mouth and not knowing when to shut up.  There is something to be said about leaving a little bit of mystery.  Give her something to be curious about!  Let her do some work to dig behind those layers and find out more about you.

In the written profile most men include all the mundane details.  Such with what they life to do for fun and what car they drive.  All that usually doesn’t appeal to a womans emotional side.  While logically you might sound great on paper, ultimately most women respond to emotion.

Women can be very particular with the wording and the imagery that is created.  Why do you think books like Fifty Shades of grey are so popular?  As romance novels can be adult material for women.  Whereas men are stimulated more visually.  Women have a heightened sensitivity to arousal through words and the story behind it.

 So describing your idea of a first date on your profile can be helpful.  Again leave something to the imagination as you don’t have to include all the details in the world.  As that allows the person to fill in the blanks in their head a little bit.

Additional info – How much detail?

Some online profiles allow you to include additional information, such as your height and how much you make.  Putting in your height truthfully can be important.  Since height can be a qualifying factor for women.  Even if you are shorter that shows you are comfortable and confident with who you are.

Stating how much money you make can have mixed results.  Because if you do make allot of money, you might not want someone to like you for that alone.  But you shouldn’t resort to lying about your income.  As that sets the wrong precedent that you need to eventually maintain.

So when in doubt, it’s acceptable to put “Prefer not to say”.  As most women don’t really include their income levels.  Except of course high achievers who want to make sure you are at the same level.

However the importance of including your income can depend on your target market.  As dating women 30+ this might become more important.  Since they might want to start a family in the next year or two.  It is good to know and fair that you are in a similar economic status.  Whereas for women in their 20s, this might not be as important or relevant.

Take home lessons

When in doubt make sure you give enough information to be interesting, but leave a little bit of mystery.  Give the other person something to be curious about, so they want to learn more.  You don’t need to splurge on every detail and quality that you have.  But most of all, good pictures are the most important thing in a good profile.  As a picture is worth a thousand words.